You’ve Got This!

These are the words that I now hear over and over and over again. Sometimes, when I hear these three little words, I just want to respond with STFU!  I coach others all the time how to thrive through all kinds of professional and personal changes, challenges and transitions. I am now applying all this knowledge to myself. It is just as hard for me as for my clients.

My mind is saying yes and my body is saying ‘slow it down a bit sister, not just yet’. For me the fact that I had the guts to sign up and train with these awesome women is beyond what I thought I was capable of.

Now for the context. I signed up for my first triathlon. Why you may ask? Because I decided in January, that for my ‘big’ birthday, I was declaring this the year I do things that scare me and move me way out of my comfort zone.

I’m the first born. I like telling others what to do. I crave control. Here, I am not in control. I am not in my natural element. I thrive in all work related settings. I’m confortable being up front, being in charge, being the ‘expert’.  When it comes to group sports, I have what I call ‘play’ anxiety. I don’t know where it has come from, it is just there. I recognize it and this tri training is giving me the experience to challenge my assumptions.

I didn’t know how to swim, I haven’t been on a bike in almost 5 years, and I’m not a runner. So I signed up anyway. What was I thinking?! The journey has been challenging and inspiring.

I started my swimming lessons with the group of awesome and dedicated mentors (women who have completed the tri in the past, and give of themselves unconditionally). Putting my head underwater and conquering my fears of the deep water are still challenging.

I am making progress, though I have yet to swim a length of thje pool without the assistance of a floatation device. There are no more tears in the pool, and I am even laughing during swim training!

I am in the pool between 3 -5 times each week, and now I am plagued with a chlorine rash each time I leave the pool. Are we having fun yet?

My wonderful husband purchased a new bicycle for me. I had stopped riding when I was diagnosed with cervical stenosis and arthritis. I was told cycling was not good for someone with my condition. I am happy to say – bullshit! As long as I pay attention to my form, I am fine (plus all the pool action helps). I love cycling but hills are still a challenge.   I’m learning about cadence, gears, breathing, heart rate and mitigating nauseousness. Again, are we having fun yet?

I’m also learning to jog along with learning how to swim and ride correctly.

So this tri thing scares me. I am trying not to focus on the end goal, but to celebrate all the accomplishments along the way.  I am finally learning to enjoy the journey, and not look at it as work.

If nothing else this process is making me stronger, more confident and it got me be back on a bike. Plus I am learning how to swim; something I have wanted to do for a very long time. I love being in the water and I know it is something I will continue with.

Did I mention I have spent thousands of dollars so far in this process? Or I’ll say it this way – I have made investments in the future of my health and wellness.

So let’s get back to ‘you’ve got this‘. I know it is supposed to be motivating, and at times it is. But sometimes, it is not. Think of it this way – the alternative to ‘you’ve got this’ is ‘you haven’t’ or ‘you’ve failed’. For me it is not clearly black or white, you either got it or you don’t. For me it is recognizing I’ve made progress in a short period of time. I am learning to push myself beyond my self imposed limitations.

I know sometimes I am not the most gracious student. I spend too much time in my head and I wear my frustrations out loud. I am learning a lot about myself in this journey, and I am expanding the boundaries of my comfort zone too. It will help me be a better me in all aspects of my life.

I am grateful to all the mentors, sister athletes, my swim coach, my health coach, my PT, my friends, my awesome patient husband, and my legacy of strong women who I remember each and everyday. It takes a village! Plus I get to train with all kinds of people.

I don’t know if I will ready for this tri. I do know that swimming, cycling, and walking/jogging are back in my life for good. I’m not done yet!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart!