You Look Marvelous Darling!

A little story with a lovely ending: The other day I was meeting my friend Manoj for coffee at Earl’s Grocery here in Charlotte. As I was waiting for my cappuccino, I man standing behind me said “Do you know how beautiful you are?” I said thank you without really looking.  He then said “You are beautiful.” I turned around fully to see who was saying these words and he said, “Every morning when you wake up, you should look in the mirror and say ,’I am beautiful’.”I tried to interrupt him by offering my awareness of positive affirmations, but he wanted to finish his sentiment.

Who is this man? At first, I was taken aback and thought this interaction was a bit creepy. Then I changed my mind and thought how lovely of a stranger to freely share his nice opinion of me. I was flattered. I was touched by the kindness and generosity of a stranger. I don’t remember what he looks like, however I do remember an accent and in my mind he was ruggedly handsome. Creepy or not, it was the kindness of a stranger that lifted my spirit at that moment and a few days later I am still remembering.

Why is it hard to receive a compliment? Do we doubt the authenticity of the giver? Are we embarrassed or feel the need to discredit the praise? Are we afraid to be ‘seen’? For some it maybe linked to self-esteem/confidence because it conflicts with our belief system.  For others there is a cultural component where giving praise in public to adults is frowned upon. There have been lots of studies conducted on this very topic. Society reinforces the paradox that we as women should love ourselves and acknowledge our self-worth; but not too much because we then may seem arrogant and full of our selves.

Here is a little ‘graphic’ video from the comedienne, Amy Schumer who takes this concept a bit too far. But you will get the message: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzlvDV3mpZw

On behalf of women everywhere, let’s learn to finally accept our compliments with grace and tact. It is quite lovely a reminder, that there are people who give so freely without expectations. Our only duty is to receive fully.

So give a compliment, even to a stranger. Go ahead darling because you look marvelous!